Sleep

sometimes I unwind
look back to the passing of time
sometimes I feel
those days become unreal
our lives are fashioned by things that come from outside
control so indirect we don't even realize
someday my instincts will be things I can trust
someday too much conditioning could make me self destruct
someday I'll fall back on values I've created in time
someday I'll have the chance to take back what's mine

Operation Ivy

Seems like everywhere I look these days shit is changing...
and fast.
time seems to be stuck on fast forward

I'm prayin' though that everyone can keep hangin' on by their fingernails,
because maybe someday it'll be worth it.

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
~Bill Hicks

if i see one more freaking saw commercial im going to puke in a manila envelope and send it to lionsgate. seriously id rather watch just about any other commercial saturated with fake tits and mcfries and unhappy consumers finally finding that one special product that makes their lives all sunshine and sparkles.... and all the rest of medias fancy little attempts at my subconscious drive for that matter.
did you know that the big businesses spend pretty pennies on research that focuses primarily on how to control you and your mind instead of on the quality of the product? Fancy that.

Art hardly exists anymore. Who's got the blackest heart? you will succeed.



Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
(Bill Hicks)

I reject your reality and substitute my own.
(Adam Savage)

nothing can control you in your efforts to eradicate the obstacles to your progress. no force internally or externally can thwart your karma.

~ http://www.Unamerican.com

the word pizzazz pisses me off

diamonds are just rocks we warehouse up somewhere so we can pretend they are precious
its easy to corall a social race by threatening it with unpopularity

thank god for language

i try really hard to stop myself from asking
is this really where im supposed to be

so then i turn on the tv
and everythings okay again






Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

blood red reminders
still imbedded in the cracks of my hands

the time has finally come
to let them fade away
lest i also manage to betray my present
and my future

my dreams will always succumb
to little snippets of self-hatred
and self-mutilation
not only as punishment
but also as prevention

i am finally convinced
that i can again be trusted
that i'll never understand why
that what's important is now

the lesson has been learned
in the cruelest ways i could come up with
and i've done the best job
that i could have done

thank you for believing in me
even before i could

I'm such an emotional packrat

i had a dream i was a stand up comedian
it was great

but i know if i tried it here id probably get all lame and awkward

its something to think about =)

so i got some pictures and a garbage bag full of hooker cards


booya

I'm going to Nevada today until Tuesday

jus thought u might wanna know

Patience my dear
We could spend a lifetime waiting here
Maybe this time
I hope I get the chance to say goodbye

Wake up it's time
We need to find a better place to hide
Make up your mind
I need to know I need to know tonight

my uncle roberts living with us now
they want to ditch Spot
shes quiet and sick and she just lays around anyways
i bought these weird tip things you glue on cat claws
i hope itll be enough for them to let me keep her

it's too dang ass hot around here
but im going to vacation in Nevada
i make so much sense

i still wanna move to alaska for some
weird reason i just think its an awesome place to go
like screw you guys im goin to alaska

i dunno i slept four hours
then had to wake up to talk to policers about getting some records
and it was this middle aged chick with feathered hair
who was a total prick by the way why cops gotta be so pissy
when you ask them to do thier jobs?
I PAY TAXES DAMMIT
and ive payed like a thousand dollars in tickets n shit
so they can all kiss my ass

so now i gotta wait around until three cuz my boss wants me to go in for him
and i got school tomorrow but its really boring
i dunno where this is going i really dont

i went to midnight showing of transformers 2 with a shit ton of people from high school it was cool to see them

ok i think im done =)

pharmacy is pretty cool
you get to wear a lab coat
and fuck around with chemicals
that modify human brain functions
and other things like that

I'm going to vegas mid-july
it'll be pretty sweet
Jacob lives there

just felt like writing about it i suppose

My head is made up of memories
Most of them useless delusions
This room is bored of rehearsal
And sick of the boundaries
I miss you so much